Anyway, back to my deep thoughts for the day... As I was painting Goliath, I reflected on a time when I had to face my own sort of "giant" and failed. My giant's name was Intimidation, and his purpose was to shut me up.
I can still feel the track marks left from being thrown under the bus. To explain, I was falsely accused of saying something I didn't say simply because the girl who vomited out some information she shouldn't have shared saw a good opportunity to shift the blame.
Clueless of this betrayal, I was called into my director's office and questioned. Thankfully, and because she knew my heart and character, she didn't believe the accusations. With my director's blessing I went directly to the source and her partner hoping to clear the air. My biggest mistake was going alone.
Rather than being able to explain, I was berated because of what the guilty girl had said that I'd said. Funnily enough, while I was being told off, she stood cowardly by the supply cabinet and away from our conversation. I look back now and wish that I'd had more confidence to fight for myself, but I didn't. Intimidation won and the rest of the school year I was anxious. afraid, and overly reserved.
Right now I'm studying Nehemiah with my church Bible Study group. People often refer to Nehemiah as the "weeping prophet," but boy are they wrong. Yes, Nehemiah did cry, but his tears were for his own nation, his people, and for his beloved Jerusalem whose walls were deteriorating.
The reason I mention Nehemiah is because he was not only a wonderful leader, he was crazy brave! You see, he had his own "giants" to contend with. They came in the form of a governor, an officer, and an Arabian leader. When it came down to it, these three men went after Nehemiah because his plan to rebuild Jerusalem's walls threatened their own interests and territories. They wanted to protect themselves and their own positions.
What were their tactics? Lies and physical threats. But Nehemiah never wavered. He knew that God had called him to lead this reconstruction project, so he called his people to pray, stand guard, and trust in God.
The same held true for David, who actually did defeat (and behead) the real Goliath. Even though David was a boy, he wasn't scared by Goliath's taunts or threats. He put his hope in the One TRUE God who is mighty to save.
I look back on that school year and I can see why the enemy wanted me silenced. I was beginning to step out of my comfort zone and talk about Jesus to some of the other women. I was starting to diligently pray for certain girls whose hurts were brought to my attention. Ultimately, I was learning to look outside of myself to the needs around me and, frankly, the enemy didn't like it. I was threatening his position and territory.
What about you? Are you facing intimidation or accusations that make you want to run and hide? Rather than cower in fear, let's take Nehemiah's advice and PRAY, stand guard, trust God, and continue on with our calling.
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